Life Lost
by Madame Daphne
Summary: Dumbledore thinks about the past. Lily and James play a big part in the story. Told from Dumbledore's POV.
1. Thinking about now

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters. They belong to the very talented J.K. Rowling.

**Life Lost**

Dumbledore sighed as he watched Harry walk out of his office. Everybody said that Harry reminded them of James, but in Dumbledore's eyes Harry was like his mother. They both had experienced so much, so early in life. Yet, they both managed to survive and come out stronger. With every challenge they were faced with they proved themselves to be accomplished and wise beyond their years. He had to admit that Lily was always more wise than Harry had ever been. However, they had both shown an amazing strength of character. Dumbledore had felt a connection with both of them. It was a connection that conveyed the convening of greatness. (A/N that was quite a tongue twister!) A connection that kept him somewhat at ease because he knew that as long as someone like Lily or Harry was around the world would still be ruled by good.

Yet again, he had not told Harry the whole truth tonight. Yes, he could reason with himself that if Harry had asked him the question he would give him the truthful answer, but he knew it wasn't Harry's duty to ask the question. It had broken his heart to lay such a burden on a child that already had burdens enough. Telling Harry about the prophecy was something that had to be done though. Lives were at stake and he realized that it was time for him to start thinking about the whole wizarding world, not just the boy that he loved so much. Dumbledore sat in quiet reflection. Thinking about how he had even gotten to where he was. Thinking about the people whose lives should have been spared. Thinking about the horrible person who had created this nightmare. But most of all he was thinking about what a different world it would be if things had turned out the way they were supposed to.

Lily Evans arrived at Hogwarts, a bright eyed and happy little girl. Her parents loved her to death and she loved them to death too. It had been hard to leave them, but she had been too excited about this new life to get too sad about leaving.

Dumbledore vividly remembered her sorting. He had been amazed to see a confident little girl with flaming red hair and sparkling green eyes walk out in front of the whole school and firmly place the Sorting Hat on her head as if she had done it every day of her life. Then she had sat on the stool for 15 minutes with the hat on her head. Dumbledore had never seen any student take so long to be sorted. From that moment he knew that Lily had quite a future ahead of her. He was fully aware that the Sorting Hat liked to give cryptic messages. So he could only hope that the hat hadn't scared this precious little girl too much. After the hat named her as a new member to Gryffindor she removed the hat and got off the stool. She looked a little shaken, but overall she seemed happy. Dumbledore remembered how years later Lily finally recanted to him the cryptic message the sorting hat had given her. However, he thought, that was to be remembered some other time.

If anyone knew anything about how a person's death affects the people who loved them it would be Albus Dumbledore. He had seen more of his friends die than any one person should ever have to. Constantly he had to rearrange his life to fill the gaping holes that were left. He had learned to hide his pain well. His only consolation was the thought that it was better to sacrifice one for the whole. However, the "whole" was slowly being destroyed by Voldemort. Dumbledore had in fact learned to hide all of his emotions well. It was necessary in the fight against the Dark Lord who thrived on emotions. Tom Riddle, as Dumbledore well knew, was a very smart man. But he was a man devoid of any feeling and that was what had always been his greatest downfall. He was a man who watched the world, detached. Silently he observed people interact with each other. He watched them fall in love and he watched them grieve over lost love. He was proud to be able to live without feeling for as he so often saw, feeling things only brought pain. Dumbledore knew that only a man so disconnected from everything could be as hateful and as powerful as Voldemort was.

A/N- Please, please, please review! It will be the reviews that keep me writing this story, because I don't know if it's any good or not. And please don't hate me for writing from Dumbledore's POV. I know that it's not nearly as Dumbledorish as it should be, but I tried to make it seem wise. Well, all I can say is PLEASE REVIEW! The story will become more Lily/ James oriented if I keep on writing more.


	2. Thinking about then

Disclaimer-I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters.

The Dark Lord forced us to question those we loved and trusted. Because those were the exact ones who would betray us it seemed. I guess that is really where the story of Lily and James Potter begins, Dumbledore thought.

Ever since Lily had gotten her letter to Hogwarts she had become distant with her sister. Petunia Evans was never cruel to her sister's face, but behind her back she was brutal. Dumbledore remembered when he had found out about the hatred Petunia harbored for Lily. He was shocked, but at the same time he wasn't. Magic opens up a whole new world and if you are not a member of that world then you can't be a part of it. This wasn't how magic always was, but this is what it was forced to become. A secret. And if there is anything that can tear familial bonds it would be a secret that big.

Dumbledore always had a special place in his heart for the muggle-born students. They were not like the rest. They could never truly understand the lives of the rest. In turn, the rest would never understand the lives of the muggle-borns. Those pureblood students would never know the heartache that comes with living in two very different worlds. They would never understand the importance of keeping their world a secret. But most of all they would never feel the shame that a muggle-born felt. Muggle-borns weren't good enough for the wizarding world. And they weren't good enough for the muggle world. They really didn't have a place to fit in like everybody assumed. So day after day these students walked around with their hearts hidden far inside themselves and tried to find their place in the world. This, Dumbledore thought, is bravery and courage.

Lily had always been a faithful and trustworthy child. She loved life and was ready to conquer any challenge that presented itself to her. Her early years at Hogwarts were filled with joy and pleasure. As time went on life got more difficult for her. The threat of Voldemort was rising and as a promising young student she was becoming a prominent victim. She knew that she wanted to somehow aid in the fight against the Dark Lord, but she didn't want to be an auror. Her dream was to become and unspeakable. She had impeccable charm skills and Dumbledore was eager to put in a good word for her in the Department of Mysteries. By the end of her years at Hogwarts she had found love with James Potter. Dumbledore had always known they would end up together, but he had let things take their own course. They complimented each other perfectly. The power of such a match posed a major threat for Voldemort. He knew the time had come to eliminate both of them.

Dumbledore had watched Lily and James leave Hogwarts. They were both eager and excited for the future. Thankfully, they did not know what it held. After their deaths Dumbledore constantly thought about what would have happened if things had been different. It drove him crazy. For the first time his emotions had finally caught up to him. He was not an emotionless man, but he was a smart man. The fight against evil was a dirty one and Dumbledore knew that acting foolishly out of love was exactly what would get you killed. So he learned to accept his place in this new world and ongoing fight.

Dumbledore had learned to revert into himself. Yes, it was lonely at times, but it was necessary for survival. He'd rather keep his distance than be hit so hard each time another friend was killed at the hands of Voldemort and his death eaters. This is what made Voldemort fear Albus Dumbledore. The Dark Lord could never understand what love felt like. While these emotions came naturally to Dumbledore he was also able to distance himself from them. Tom Riddle was always distant from love. He did not know both sides of the coin like Dumbledore and that was where his greatest weakness lay. Everybody is capable of loving in some way or form and Dumbledore knew that some day Tom would love someone very much. Then when they were taken from him he would find out that there were things much worse than death. There were times when death was a welcome escape from yourself and the pain. Not physical pain, emotional pain which is so much worse.

Through many years of pain and hurt Dumbledore had become wise. Behind those twinkling eyes and slight smile lay a face that was crippled by life. When the mask was taken away, only a very old, sad man was left. If anyone understood that there were things much worse than death it was Dumbledore.

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